


Mac + Riley + Train of thought

by MacRileyEdits



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, macriley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:47:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25383325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MacRileyEdits/pseuds/MacRileyEdits
Summary: "Stop, Riley. Get it together!" she shook her head trying to get off the fast-moving train in which her thoughts had been boarding non-stop.This is a fic about Mac and Riley's POV on the events of season 4. The first two chapters are about Riley and there will be two more about Mac.
Relationships: Riley Davis & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016), Riley Davis/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Comments: 54
Kudos: 103





	1. Riley's POV on the events of season 4 (part 1)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone! This is my very first fanfic! I had a few thoughts so I said I would give it a try! I'm not an english speaker so forgive me for my mistakes. Obviously I don't own any of the MacGyver characters.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is set on 4x07 at the end when Riley goes to Mac's house. It's Riley's POV on her feelings for Mac and there is a scene between them after that hug.

Did she really show up on his doorstep in the middle of the night asking him to move in?

Has she actually thought this through? Breaking up with a guy that she cared for but was not in love with and immediately moving in with her best friend with whom was now sure she was in love with?

Who is she kidding? Of course, she hasn't thought this through. But she really didn't have anywhere else to go and Mac's place always felt like home to her. Well, if she was being completely honest with herself Mac felt like home to her.

Mac told her she could stay as long as she wanted which was the answer she expected. I mean if there is anyone else except Jack that has always been there for her that one is Mac. He is caring and giving like that. One of the many things she loves about him.

Well, at least she didn't come empty-handed. After the restaurant fiasco, she knew better than to leave him starving. He knew he didn't like fancy places and food like that and truth be told she didn't either. That's why Mac wasn't the only one starving. She tried to eat at the restaurant because she wanted to please Aubrey. Thinking back now at her relationship with him she wondered what brought them together. The man's idea of taking a big risk was investing in a restaurant while before she met him she was risking her life on a daily basis.

"That's it," she realized. "Before I met him."

Because when she did there was no Phoenix, no team and most importantly there was no Mac since they had all drifted apart trying to fix their lives, getting normal jobs, and adjusting to their new reality.

"That's it," she thought again. "There was no Mac," and in her mind, they would never see each other again.

So when she met Aubrey she wasn't looking for someone to remind her of the Phoenix, to remind her of Mac. She didn't want someone in her life that would constantly bring her back memories of the life she had and loved. And Aubrey's life was nothing like the one she had while she was working at the Phoenix. Aubrey was nothing like Mac. He was an accountant and that was all. This might sound boring compared to what she had but that was kind of what she was looking for. Because she believed boring would not remind her of the Phoenix, it would not remind her of Mac.

So she went for it and honestly things had started working out for her up until Mac showed up in her work asking her to join him on yet another dangerous mission. She couldn't say no. Not to saving innocent lives. Not to him. And she knew what going back to the Phoenix would mean for her and Aubrey because the lies would start but she loved this life and even though she hadn't realized it yet she loved Mac. So she accepted his offer to join him on the mission and that's when it all began. Working with the team made her feel alive again, gave her purpose. And as more missions went by the more she felt like she was distancing herself from Aubrey. She knew this would happen she just didn't know that the part where she had to lie to him about what she was actually doing in that Think tank wasn't the only reason. The most important reason she was drifting apart from Aubrey hit her like that bomb hit the ground in Germany when they eggdropped it off the side of that building.

"MAC! He is the reason." She had finally realized it.

He was always the reason. He was the reason she got together with Aubrey in the first place and he was the reason she now knew she had to break up with him. The first time she didn't want a constant reminder of the life she had when she was with Mac and now she didn't want to spend another second away from him even though she was certain he only saw her as a good friend. So ever since Germany, she was trying to think of a way to break up with Aubrey because she had finally realized she was in love with Mac and that wasn't fair to her current boyfriend.

But then when she thought things between Mac and Desi had ended and she was having the best of times while pretending to be fake married to Mac, he goes up and kisses her the day of the match in front of a whole lot of people. After that, she was sure that nothing could ever happen between them, that all the fun they had at the casino was just them doing their jobs and that whatever she might had felt Mac hadn't. She should have guessed something was still going on between them. There was this moment while they were talking about the ring in her finger that Mac acted weird and immediately distanced himself from her. She later realized that Desi probably was looking at them and he felt uncomfortable.

"But why would he feel like that?" she thought to herself. "If he only saw me as a friend why would he feel bad holding my hand in front of Desi?" and then she stopped her train of thought because she didn't want to start imagining things and getting disappointed and hurt. She just told herself that maybe Mac wanted to focus on the mission and that's why he changed into his serious mode.

That kiss on the soccer pitch really broke her heart. Watching the man she loved kissing another woman made her wanna disappear. That woman being Desi didn't help either because they were working together and she was part of the Phoenix family. And then there was Aubrey, she was still with him when she knew she loved someone else. She felt guilty for having these feelings and she decided to bury them. She decided to forget about Mac and give another shot to her relationship with Aubrey hoping he would help her put these feelings to rest.

Little did she know that a few weeks later Aubrey would suggest that it was finally time to meet her friends from work and she would be going on a double date with them. She couldn't refuse Aubrey's invitation to a double date. He already mentioned it a few times before and she had managed to escape making up all kinds of excuses. Working late, business trips abroad, and whatever else she could think of. But she knew it was time to face the music, she just didn't know if she was ready to face her feelings.

The date started off well. Mac and Desi kept their covers and Riley was trying her best to look happy when they were all together. She had after all promised herself that she would try and make things work with Aubrey and stop thinking about Mac. She couldn't deny that seeing Mac and Desi together made her heart ache but she would never let them know something was wrong. She knows how to hide the way she feels. She is probably better than Mac at that. Therefore, she could pretend everything was fine and no one would ever suspect it wasn't.

The dinner went well for a while and then when Riley and Aubrey were alone tasting wines all hell broke loose. Apparently, Aubrey's business partner whom she didn't know he had until a few minutes ago was involved with the Chinese Mafia and owed them money. She wasn't mad at Aubrey for not telling her about co-owning a restaurant cause to be fair she was hiding the part she loved about her life from him but she was a little mad at the world that she had found herself in a situation like this and both hers and Aubrey's lives were at stake. She was smart enough to find a way to contact Mac and she knew she could trust him to get them out of this situation but after everything and if they got out alive she also knew it was time to tell Aubrey the truth about what she does.

After Mac and Desi came to their rescue and just when things were starting to look up for them the wife, soon to be ex-wife of the guy who had kidnapped Riley and Aubrey and apparently the real owner of the money he was after, showed up and now they were all in trouble. So while the bad guys were waiting for Riley to find their money, Mac decided to distract them. And the words that came out of his mouth hit a little too close to home for Riley.

"Relationships are hard. Sometimes we lie to ourselves saying that everything is ok. Sometimes the trust we once had is gone forever. And sometimes no matter how much you think you wanna be with someone you can't seem to make it work," Mac's words were echoing in the back of her mind ever since that moment.

She did feel like that about her relationship with Aubrey. It was hard. She was lying to herself if she thought everything would be ok with Aubrey when her heart belonged to another. She had started losing her trust not so much in Aubrey but in what they had. A relationship built on lies. And maybe she thought she wanted to be with him but she had realized that she only was trying to make it work to stop herself from loving her best friend like that. And then she started wondering again.

"Why did Mac say those words? Was it only to distract the bad guys or were those his actual thoughts on his relationship with Desi? What did this mean? Was he lying to himself saying everything was ok? Had he lost his trust in her? Did he thought he wanted to be with Desi but he really didn't?"

All these questions gave her a headache. She needed to stop thinking like this. She needed to stop wondering if maybe Mac wasn't in love with Desi.

"This will only bring me more pain," she thought.

One thing she knew for sure after everything that happened on that date. If Aubrey didn't want to break up with her she would break up with him. It turns out he did. She couldn't blame him. He wasn't meant for this life and he definitely deserved someone who would not only care for him but truly love him. That's why she felt more relieved than sad when they parted ways.

And all that led to Mac's house that night. She was now inside telling him Aubrey ended it and asking him if he was hungry. His eyes lightened up when he saw Riley brought him food exactly like a child's eyes do when you give them a present. That was when he pulled her into a hug and held her tight. Riley wished this hugged could last forever cause her heart warmed up and she felt safer than she had ever been. So she formed a fist with the hand that was on Mac's back thinking that she could hold this moment forever.

When they finally broke the hug Mac made his way to the kitchen inviting her to join him so they could fill their hungry stomachs. He didn't say anything about Desi during dinner, well, late and actual dinner this time. He only asked about how she was doing, details on the breakup, and what were her plans from now on. But Riley couldn't live with those questions any more so she had to ask him. Ask him about what happened with Desi. If they had broken up then that speech about relationships being hard was indeed not only a distraction but also about his relationship with Desi and if they hadn't then he was really just saying whatever came into his mind to win them more time. So she went up and asked trying not to look like she wanted to know the status of their relationship:

"Well, what about you and Desi? You had fun on your first double date?"

"Honestly, no offense but we were both kind of bored while we were at the restaurant," Mac said.

"So you didn't have fun," Riley concluded.

"Well, not until weird things started happening and you and Aubrey got kidnapped. After that it felt like we were on a mission and as I've told you before that's kind of what keeps Desi and me together. The adrenaline."

"I'm glad my kidnapping experience help you two grow closer," Riley said trying to hide how she really felt about Mac and Desi getting closer using sarcasm.

"So everything is ok between you two?"

"Yeah, well no. Things weren't ok and then they were."

"Mac, I think I understand you better when you talk all sciency," Riley replied trying to figure out what this meant.

"Well, we almost broke up but then decided that this is how we are supposed to be. Driven by the adrenaline. That maybe that's our thing so we said we would give it another shot."

Hearing all that made Riley wonder if this kind of relationship would make Mac happy but she quickly decided that his love life was none of her business and that she had to stop asking herself questions like this. She cared for him and she couldn't help herself from making all these thoughts.

She felt bad about it but she really hoped they had broken up. There was nothing more she could do. And now she had moved in with him. She knew this was gonna be even more painful but she felt safe and comfortable around Mac and that was what she needed right now.

After they ate Riley went to settle in Bozer's old room while Mac was cleaning up the kitchen.

A few minutes later he came to check on her and see if she needed anything but she said everything was perfect and she told him "Good night." 

Mac left the room and right before closing the door he said: "I'm really happy you moved in with me Riles," and he left without waiting for her to reply almost like he was embarrassed for saying something like that.

Riley's heart was filled with joy after Mac's statement. She was probably just imagining things once again but the way he said it, was different. Different like that look they had exchanged after their hug on Germany. Like he also had feelings bottled-up inside him and he wouldn't allow himself to let them out because he was afraid of the consequences they might bring. Consequences like ruining their friendship if the feelings weren't mutual. And God, everytime he called her Riles. She just loves hearing him call her by that nickname.

"Stop, Riley. Get it together!" she shook her head trying to get off the fast-moving train in which her thoughts had been boarding non-stop.

Because Mac was still with Desi and this was all in her head. That's what she would keep telling herself from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading! There will probably be a second chapter.
> 
> I appreciate any comment that will help me improve. Let me know what you think about it.


	2. Riley's POV on the events of season 4 (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this one takes place at the end of 4x13 while the team is outside the courtroom waiting for Mac's hearing.  
> Once again it's Riley's POV and a scene between Mac and Riley that I missed at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is a lot bigger 'cause a lot of things happened in the last 7 episodes.

And now it had all ended. Codex's plan to cause a volcanic eruption had failed. After everything that had happened in the dam and since the Phoenix knew about their secret bunker Codex was in hiding. They had disappeared from the face of the earth. Kind of ironic if you think they were the ones that were trying to make a lot of people “disappear” from this planet. Until they would pop up on the team's radar again the Phoenix would move forward with other as important missions. But before that, there was one thing that had to be done. One thing that was needed to be done years ago. Mac wanted to finish what his mother had started and no I don't mean wipe out a quarter of the earth's population but what she really wanted. Get every intel she had on the planet's situation to DC and hopefully shake people into action. That's what Mac was going to do and Riley was very proud of him because he was finally ready to embrace his past by honoring his mother's legacy.

And as they were waiting to call them in the courtroom Riley once again got on her train of thought and started remembering everything that had happened ever since she moved into Mac's.

The first weeks after the moving things were normal, well Riley's kind of normal. Missions with the Phoenix, a few gatherings with the team by the fire pit and nearly dying almost every day. In these weeks Mac and Riley had talked a few times when everyone else would leave but it was never about anything personal. Just exchanging their point of view on the mission that had ended or talking about the secret organization that the only thing they then knew about was their name. Riley knew that them not talking too much wasn't Mac's fault. She was deliberately trying to avoid him because she was afraid of what she might do if they got too close. And since Mac was busy with Desi and work he didn't seem to have noticed that Riley was keeping her distance. So everything went by smoothly and even though Riley missed Mac's company she knew it was better like that.

“At least until I stop loving him,” she would say to herself. Like that would ever happen. For Riley, stop loving Mac meant stop breathing. Yet she was still hoping she could make that happen.

The day they got new intel about Mason was the day that everything would start to crumble. Oversight came by the Phoenix that day and Riley could feel the tension between him and Mac. She wanted to talk to him about his dad so many times these past few weeks but she was on a mission to avoid him so she never did.

“I'm being selfish,” she would think. “Just because I want to stop hurting I'm letting my best friend deal alone with his problems.” Problems she knew all too well since she was also a member in the club of screwed-up dads.

“But he's not alone,” she would continue. “He has a girlfriend. She can be there for him.” 

So she didn't talk to him about his father like she didn't talk to him about anything else that could end with them hugging. She wouldn't be able to act normal if they hugged again like they used too. Because Mac's hugs meant the world to Riley. And now that she was hiding all those feelings inside her, a hug from him would probably make her cry her eyes out which would have created millions of questions in Mac's mind that she didn't know if she would ever be ready to answer.

Mac left with his dad to find Mason and when they lost comms this feeling of something happening to him and dying alone like he had said to her in Germany made her regret that she hadn't talked to him all these weeks they were living together. A bad feeling that only became worse when they found out that Codex had taken them. She was hoping that everything would be okay and that he would return home in one piece. When he finally did return, she felt even worse because his father had sacrificed himself to save him and now Mac would blame himself for that. And she couldn't help but wonder that maybe if they had talked, Mac would have reached out to his dad and things would have worked out differently. But unfortunately, Oversight's death wasn't the only bad thing that happened that day. Apparently, Mac's presumed dead aunt was alive and she was the head of Codex or so they thought then. So now she knew that it was too late to talk to him. That wasn't what he needed, not for now at least. What he needed now was to complete his father's dying wish and that was to stop Codex once and for all. Therefore, Riley knew she had missed her opportunity to help him and she was afraid that all this might break him.

Ever since Oversight died Desi would spend almost every night at Mac's house trying to get closer to him and make him open up to her. Riley could see Desi was really trying but Mac didn't seem to respond to any of her attempts to get him to talk.

It had hardly been a week when the ransomware attack to the city's power grid happened. And while Riley's past was catching up to her, Mac had to kill a man to save 4 million people. She blamed herself for putting him through that. Because of something she had said years ago, one of her friends thought that causing a nuclear meltdown and killing millions while she’s at it, was the right thing to do. And even though Kai had reassured her that this wasn't her fault Riley kept believing it was and it killed her that she had forced Mac's hand to push that scram button.

That night when she went home she had found Mac and Russ sitting on the couch, trying to solve a secret code that as they told her Mac's dad left for him. So, since Russ didn't leave until it was very late, she yet again missed her opportunity to talk to him. Every night after that Desi would sleep over and Riley would fall asleep on the couch playing video games because she didn't feel comfortable being so close to Mac's room.

Mac wasn't really sleeping. He would either stay up all night or wake up very early to work on a plan to save the world. Codex had really messed with his mind. His aunt had really messed with his mind. So, his coping mechanism was to build any type of machine that would solve the greenhouse effect. That morning, he was trying to build a carbon scrubber. And since Riley was yet again sleeping on the couch she was more exposed to the noise Mac was making than she would have been if she was sleeping in her room. Therefore, the loud bangs woke her up and she went outside to the terrace only to find Mac hitting his scrubber with a hammer. Sometimes she would contemplate “He does it on purpose,” but then she would just laugh for even thinking that because she knew Mac would never deliberately wake her up this early in the morning when he knew how much their work required a good night's sleep.

"Good morning sleepyhead!" Mac said when he saw her. When she heard that she let her mind travel to a universe where they were together and sleepyhead was her every-morning nickname. But thank God that the loud noise Mac was making brought her back to reality. So when she complained about the hour and asked if he wanted to talk about it, Desi showed up wearing Mac's clothes and for a moment she had forgotten all about her. Which was insensitive of her, she thought, so she left Mac's side making a face she hoped they hadn't noticed and went to explore the backpacks Mac had made. She almost immediately understood what these backpacks were about but even though they made her worry about Mac she couldn't help but think how sweet it was that he had put her favorite candy bars in them.

Mac had left moments before she saw the candy bars because Matty had called and asked them to go to the Phoenix. Russ had broken Oversight's code and it had led to...wait for it...Nicola Tesla's house.

“The electricity guy?” Riley asked being a little too excited.

“Among many other things,” Mac replied.

And she was now fangirling over this house full of stuff that probably belonged to a museum.

Unfortunately, they didn't have much time to look around ‘cause Codex showed up and everything happened fast. So, they returned to the Phoenix with an unconscious Mac and no map, which they needed to find Tesla's weapon, since Codex's operatives managed to overpower them and steal it.

When Mac woke up without his short-term memory they knew they couldn't do much therefore Russ, Desi and Riley went to search Tesla's archives at the library of the university he used to give lectures and Mac stayed back since Matty had other plans for him. They gave him a drug that was made by DARPA scientists in an attempt to get his memories back.

Riley didn't feel comfortable talking with Desi about Mac but at that moment she saw an opening and laid out all her worries. Unfortunately, she didn't get the answer she wanted. She had hoped since they were together she would have found a way to make Mac talk about how he feels. But no. Desi admitted that Mac wouldn't open up to her and that if she was being honest with herself she didn't know how to make him do that because that's not something they did in her family. Riley was disappointed. She wanted Mac to have someone to talk too and she thought that Desi could be that person since they were spending so much time together.

After finding some clues in the library and went to the place Tesla might have hidden Shiva Mac woke up just in time to reveal to them the missing piece of the puzzle. So they found Shiva and when Codex came Mac instructed Desi how to fix the wire in order to use the weapon against them. And it worked. They got out with Shiva and returned to the Phoenix.

“Mac looks terrible.” Riley remembers thinking.

“I'd hate to get lost inside the mind of Angus MacGyver,” she had said. But that wasn't entirely true. Sometimes she wished she could take a peek at what he was thinking. What he was thinking about everything that had happened and although it was a selfish thing to want she wished she could get inside his mind and find out what he was thinking about her. But that wasn't the time to get lost on her thoughts because Mac didn't look well. Something bad had happened while he was dreaming under the influence of whatever drug they injected him with. But once again she couldn't talk to him. Not when he was with Desi all the time.

A few weeks passed and when they located the Merchant they thought maybe finally their luck had changed. Matty called them to come in and Riley had to be the one to tell Mac and Desi since they were unavailable in the shower. Riley had never felt more embarrassed in her life. Having to tell her best friend and at the same time the man she loved and Desi, her friend and coworker to hurry up with their shower because their boss called made her want to crawl in a hole and never come out. She did hear Mac laughing while they were in there so she thought maybe Desi was a good distraction after all.

They went to the Phoenix and Russ' idea ended up with Mac locked up in a cell with the Merchant. Things were going well but out of the blue security alerts popped up on every Phoenix computer screen and Riley knew Codex was on to them. The Merchant had played them really well. No one saw it coming.

But what caught Riley's attention during the chaos that Codex's imminent arrival had created was something completely irrelevant to their current predicament. Mac and Desi were arguing and then all of a sudden they started kissing. She couldn't hear what they were saying. She could only guess from the expression on their faces that while at first they seemed to be fighting Mac told Desi something that made her stop, grab him by the prison uniform he was wearing, because that was what he was pretending to be, and kiss him. She had a few ideas about what Mac could have possibly said but she didn't want to jump into conclusions. But then she thought maybe that was what she needed to make her accept that Mac would never love her the way he loved Desi. Maybe if she let herself believe that, she could move on. That was when she decided it was time to move out. She had to find her own place if she wanted to move on. Watching Mac with Desi all the time wasn't helping. She loved living with Mac but after all, that was the real problem. She knew that making her feelings go away wouldn't happen any time soon so she thought she needed to take it one step at a time.

“Moving out of Mac's place would be a good first step,” she thought and quickly got back into her work mode because Codex was about to pay them a visit.

Mac's plan was once again brilliant and not only they managed to catch the Merchant and Scarlett, one of Codex's highly operatives, but they also got a lead on Codex's headquarters. It would take some time but Riley would be able to find where they were hiding.

And when Bozer came in while Riley had already started searching for apartments, she told him she was planning to move out. Riley was surprised when she saw that Bozer had realized she had feelings for Mac. But she trusted him with her secret and honestly felt a little lighter now that she knew she had someone to talk too about it.

In the next few days as the time was running out they needed to collect as much information as they could. Riley was trying to look for the best time to tell Mac that she was going to move out but things would soon enough start getting crazy and this would have to wait.

The morning came when Mac arrived at the Phoenix telling them his aunt had grabbed him from his morning run in order to buy him breakfast, tell him they were only mere days away from a long winter's night and that the CIA and not cancer was the one that took away his mother.

Riley was now really worried about Mac. He could see that there was doubt in Russ' and even Desi's eyes. And something bad must have happened between Mac and Desi while they were interrogating Scarlett cause they looked like they had drifted miles apart.

Mac seemed ready to explode and when Russ brought in the ripper drone pilots he wouldn't have it anymore. They were supposed to be the ones who saved people no matter what. So he confronted Russ. Taylor looked like he was waiting for Mac to do that because only then he started unraveling his theory about Mac being compromised. Riley was worried about him but she never believed that Russ could be right. Not even for a second. She didn't want Mac to leave but she didn't really have a say in the matter. Not when Matty agreed with Taylor. So Mac left.

What she didn't think would happen was that Desi would give up on him so easily. Instead of supporting Mac, she sided with Russ and practically escort him out the door.

When Riley found out that Mac broke out Scarlett leaving Desi and Russ without oxygen she was surprised but what really crossed her mind was that they didn't leave him much of a choice. Russ seemed willing to drop that missile and she knew Mac would never allow that. So since she was in charge of finding him and because she knew he did everything for a reason she chose to follow him and help him. 

When she saved Mac and Scarlett from that secret research facility they were keeping Shiva she felt really good. She knew in her heart that it was the right thing to do. She didn't care if it would cost her her job and possibly her freedom because now she was a traitor like Mac and if they got caught they would end up in prison for betraying the Phoenix and their country. She knew that if this was Mac's plan, no matter how insane it was, it would work. That's how much she trusted him. She had put her life into his hands many times before and this one was no different. The look on Mac's face when she saw her coming to his rescue was enough for her. So while the Phoenix thought they turned, Mac and Riley were headed to Codex's headquarters. On their way there Mac asked Riley why she helped him and she told him that it was because she trusted him. Yes, she loved him but she didn’t do this because of her feelings. She would have followed him anywhere without question, long before she realized how she feels.

When they arrived, they knew from the start that they weren't welcome. After fighting with Codex operatives a message came to Mac's phone: “Missile inbound!” it was from Bozer.

Riley knew Bozer was on their side. She believed the same about Matty but unfortunately after what she had seen and heard coming out of Desi's and Russ' mouth she couldn't say the same about them.

Mac used Morse Code to warn his aunt about the missile and with Tesla's weapon they managed to trick the missile's navigating system but unfortunately a ripper drone carried two of them. Therefore, this wasn't over. Mac tried to charge Shiva again but there wasn't enough time. And in those moments they were about to die, Mac reached for Riley's hand. Her heart started pounding faster than it ever had and she couldn't care less about the missile that was about to be dropped on them. She only cared that the last thing she would do on this earth, she would do it with Mac by her side, holding her hand. She wasn't alone and she hoped that he now knew that he wasn't either. That she was there for him and she would continue to be if that day wasn't their last.

Right before it reached above their heads the drone continued straight ahead and then crashed a few miles away into the forest. Mac's face made a huge smile and was filled with relief. Their family back at the Phoenix hadn't completely abandoned them after all, Riley thought.

When they relaxed from the "we almost died" shock, Mac and Riley followed Gwen to the house. And while Mac was trying to convince her they had decided to join Codex she was in the mood to tease them because even though she knew exactly who Riley was she still called her Mac's girlfriend. Mac didn't respond. Instead, he let Riley answer for him which she thought was weird. So she answered the best way she could to ensure that no one would understand how she really wanted that to be true.

And then Mac pulled his shoulders back and said: “We're a package deal.”

“Why did he have to say that?” Riley was wondering. He was making it hard for her not to love him.

“We're a package deal,” she was repeating Mac's words in her mind. Now how will she get that out of her thoughts?

Thank God Gwen asked them to follow her and she had to move because if they had let her, she would start imagining things again and it wouldn't be good for her.

So they got into a secret elevator and got out to a secret underground city. Riley had never seen anything like it. "Man, these people are the real deal," she thought.

And from now own as Mac said, the only thing that would save them from whatever they had gotten themselves into, was improvisation.

Riley was really worried about Mac every time he was with his aunt. Everyone there seemed like they were brainwashed. When they had to separate them, even though she didn't show it, she was really afraid. When they met up again in the vehicle bay she was very relieved to see that he was ok. She was wondering where he was but right now they had other problems. Something weird was happening. They had given them a tablet and they were supposed to meet up at a location that would only be revealed to them while on the road. So while they were driving to wherever the location on the tablet was, after talking a bit about what they saw in the bunker they found out that Codex had a nuke. Mac told Riley about Leland, who was the real head of Codex, but she felt like he hadn't shared all the details with her. And when everything was going according to plan, a plan that they hadn't thought of yet, a loud noise made them jump from their seats and they stopped moving. They had a flat tire. They got out of the car only to find Desi and Russ pointing their guns at them.

Riley was pissed. First, they question Mac's loyalty, then they drop a missile on their heads and know what? They came to finish the job themselves? That was too much. And maybe she could justify Russ for his actions because he was obsessed with Codex and only knew them a few months, but Desi? How could she do this? She was hired to protect them. That was her job. And after all these missions in which they had saved each other's lives multiple times she was now standing in front of them with a gun to their faces. She had said that she doesn't even like using guns which made it even worse. It was almost like she wanted to take revenge from Mac for whatever she thought he did to her. And Riley didn't like getting emotional like that but she couldn't believe that Desi who was practically still Mac's girlfriend was willing to take them down like they were another bad guy they came across on their missions. 

If Matty hadn't intervened, Riley had no idea how things would have escalated. And with Taylor's secret coming out everyone finally seemed to be getting it together. Now Riley knew what Mac was keeping from her. She knew that learning something like that from Leland must have made him feel really upset. Russ knew about Codex all along. Maybe he didn't know their name and who they were but he sure had history with them and chose to hide it from the team. Therefore, Russ tried to explain his obsession with Codex but since there was no time to waste they had to fix the tire and go to the rendezvous point.

When Riley heard Desi lecturing Mac about trust she really thought that she was out of her mind. Yes, maybe Mac wouldn't open up to her and refuse to get emotionally attached to her but Desi saying he trusted him when less than 5 minutes ago she was holding a gun to his head was a little over the top. And as if that weren't enough, she made a scene at the worst possible time.

What Mac needed now was to focus on how to stop Codex from launching a nuke and not Desi telling him how much he hurt her. Riley knew what trust meant to Mac. She knew that he was more hurt from Desi's actions than he would care to admit. Desi was supposed to be his person but instead of supporting him while everything around him was crumbling, she turned her back on him. So who can blame him when he chose to go rogue and not share his plan with her?

As soon as they fixed the tire they got back on the road. They arrived at the warehouse only to find the rest of Gwen's team waiting around for instructions. Something was wrong. Riley could feel it and so did Mac. Russ and Desi saw the cobra attack helicopter approaching and warned them about what was coming next. Mac yelled that this was a trap and the next thing Riley remembers is Mac telling her to get to cover. When the missile dropped Riley swore she would lose her hearing after that loud bang. And then fire. The only thing she could see was fire. But she knew if she was going to die in that warehouse at least she wouldn't be alone. Mac was right next to her. She also knew that if anyone could get them out of a situation like that, that one was Mac. And as they were walking through fire, Riley saw Mac in front of her looking for a way out and protecting her using his body as a shield. She knew that that was why he had her stay behind him. And then he smashed the door open and Riley was certain that he must have used all his strength in order to get them to safety.

Russ and Desi were waiting outside so they helped them stand back on their feet and continue with their mission. Mac never believed that his aunt had something to do with this. He didn't believe she would be so cruel and he was right cause when they found the nuke and Mac talked to her in the back of that truck she had confirmed it was all Leland's fault. Riley didn't know what Mac and Gwen talked about on that truck but when he saw him fell out of it her heart certainly skipped a few beats. But she saw that he had let his hands go on purpose so she trusted that he had a plan that wouldn't lead to him dying before stopping that nuke. And he did. He managed to hold on to the side of that bridge and Desi helped him up.

After watching the Yellowstone plates inside the truck and remembering the talk he had with Leland Mac had finally realized what Codex's plan was. He had also managed to jam his phone under the loading ramp of the truck so now they could track them and Riley was very proud of him in that moment.

"How does he do that?" she would think every time he managed to save the day. While he was hanging from the door of a fast-moving truck or every other time he would find himself in similar situations instead of letting the fear of dying consume him, he was planning ten steps ahead. Riley was the same. She just didn't know it. She would always be as resourceful as Mac even though she could be experiencing life-threatening situations.

So they found the nuke and Mac had a plan to interrupt the chain reaction and turn the mushroom cloud into a good old-fashioned explosion. But while he was trying to do just that Roman, one of Codex's men attacked him and would have almost killed him if it wasn't for Gwen. Riley wasn't sure what had happened when she heard that gunshot through comms. All kinds of thoughts were crossing her mind but soon enough she heard Mac's voice and was able to start breathing again. She didn't know yet that he would stay behind to set off the explosion manually. She wanted to run to him when she realized what he was about to do. She wanted to help him and be there with him ‘cause if he was going to die then she would prefer to die alongside him. But Taylor was wounded and Desi couldn't carry him on her own, so she couldn't let another man die just because she preferred to live her last moments with the man she loved. They got out and managed to get far enough just before the blast wave from the explosion made them fall on their knees. Riley wanted to scream. She had hoped that Mac would make it out somehow but at that moment all she could think of was that she let him die alone. She wanted to cry but with Desi there she held back her tears and emotions because she felt like Desi was the one that deserved to mourn him, being his girlfriend and all. Even after everything Riley did for him she felt that she had failed him. When he saw him emerging between the smoke and the fire like a true Phoenix her heart started beating again and she run as fast as she could to help him.

“He is alive,” she would repeat in her mind so she could return from the shock she was into when she thought she lost him.

They went back to the Phoenix and Taylor gave them their now cut into strips badges back. Honestly, that was the last thing Riley cared about. She never even used her badge anyway. They were always on undercover missions. What she cared about was that Mac was still alive and that he was smiling again. Yes, his aunt died to save him the exact way his father died to save him but she didn't see this burden of guilt on his shoulders. He didn't look like he was carrying the weight of the world either. Riley was happy to see him like that. Sure there were a lot of things that he needed to talk about but it seemed like he had made peace with his inner demons and decided to let them go. And what better way to do that than by honoring his mother's legacy?

And now there they were in DC waiting to do just that. Riley knew Mac was nervous but he was also tired because he had spent days trying to gather all the data he needed to make his case believable. There were some things from his mom's research but it had been 25 years since then and there were a lot more he had to use to show them what was really going on with this planet. That's why she brought him an americano. Mac was really selective with his drinks and Riley knew that very well. She also knew him well enough to know that only a coffee would stop him from yawning during his hearing.

“Hey, Riles,” Mac greeted her.

“Hey, Mac. Here drink this,” she said and handed him the coffee while taking the folders he was holding.

Mac took the coffee and if he could he would have drunk it all in a single sip.

“Thanks, I needed that,” he told her.

“Yeah, I could tell. Don't worry you're gonna be great. If you think about it it's like teaching in a classroom. Only this time the kids are really important people who you need to convince that this planet is gonna die and take us all down with it, unless we do something about it,” Riley teased him.

“You sure know how to give a pep talk,” Mac said and gave her a smirk.

“Well, I learned from the best. You must admit that pep talks aren’t your strong suit either. But seriously, I'm just messing with you. You'll be fine,” Riley said.

Mac laughed and thanked her.

“I wouldn't be here to complete my mother's work if it wasn't for you,” Mac told Riley wearing his serious face. “So thank you, thank you for trusting me and thank you for always having my back. But most importantly thank you for the coffee ‘cause without it I would be yawning every other minute in there and that would make me look bad.” Mac finished his words giving Riley a broad smile.

Riley saw that he was about to hug her but as much as she wanted too she restrained herself. She saw Desi approaching them and because she didn't feel like talking to her, when Mac leaned a bit forward for the hug she gave him the folders back took the cup of coffee from his hand that was now empty and said:

“I'll see you inside.”

“Oh...Ok,” Mac replied looking a bit confused.

She walked over to Matty and Bozer. She really didn't want to be around Desi at that moment. She hadn't forgotten about the whole not trusting them thing. She could see that Mac became tense when Desi approached him. She didn't know what they were talking about but she honestly hoped she wouldn't say anything to stress Mac even more. She turned around and faced the other way so she wouldn't be looking at them the moment Desi started fixing Mac's tie. She couldn't believe that Desi was acting like everything was fine. And how did Mac feel about that? Sometimes, she couldn't read him. She knew him very well but when it came to Mac's love life she could never tell what he was thinking. She only wanted him to be happy and if after everything that happened she believed Desi could make him happy she wouldn't have a problem with that. But she didn't believe that anymore. Desi brought Mac pain and that she could see. She was hoping Mac would find a way to be happy.

She didn't know how things would continue from now on but she sure knew that they would need to find a way to coexist with Desi and Russ. It was too soon for her to forget what they did but if they wanted to work on new missions without any problems they would need to start trusting each other. And while she was once again lost in her thoughts the time came for Mac's hearing.

She was so proud of him. He was talking with confidence and people seemed to pay attention. But most importantly he seemed relieved like he had managed to find his way back to the ground after a long time of floating away. And in that moment she knew they would be fine. Even if he decided to get back with Desi she knew he would be smarter about it. He wouldn't let her hurt him as he wouldn't let himself hurt her. And even though she would like to be his person, she loved him more than she loved herself so it would be enough for her to know that Mac was happy with someone else.

“We're going to be fine.” She kept repeating while watching Mac explain every single thing that is wrong with this planet and ways that would make it better for the future generations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are always welcome.


	3. Mac's POV on the events of season 4 (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is part one of Mac's POV on the events of season 4. It takes place at the end of 4x07.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you like it. Excuse me once again for my mistakes.

It had been a long day! 

First, Mac and Desi had to spend hours in an interrogation room preparing to meet Riley’s boyfriend and then the double date had been a complete disaster.

Mac had finally returned home and he was looking for something to eat because the food at the restaurant wasn’t enough to satisfy his hunger.

It was then when he started thinking back on everything that had happened since the Phoenix got back together. It had definitely been a crazy ride. It wasn’t easy returning to work as a secret agent but to be fair that was what got Mac back on track. His life as a professor couldn’t fill the void that the closure of the Phoenix had left. He had grown apart from the others really fast. He dated Desi for a few months but leaving normal lives soon made him realize that they just don’t work together. When Russ came with this job offer, one that was going to save innocent lives if he accepted it, Mac couldn’t refuse. He was waiting on something to turn his life around because all this time alone had really started to take a toll on him. 

Therefore, he started recruiting his old team members, who were more like his friends and family rather than just former coworkers. He first went to find Riley. He wasn’t sure why he started with her. They hadn’t spoken in months. The logical thing to do was to go and find Bozer first. He and Bozer would speak a few times on the phone the time they were apart and he was the only one that knew what had happened in Mac’s life while the Phoenix was closed. He was the only one who knew what had happened between him and Desi. But he felt that Riley would be as willing as he was to join him on this dangerous mission that its only purpose was to save innocent lives. And he was right to believe that. She literally jumped right in. She was more than excited to follow him. He was so happy to see her. He hated that they had drifted apart but he couldn’t blame Riley for that. Mac wasn’t in a good place when the Phoenix shut down. He pushed everyone away thinking they would be better of without him. Well, everyone except Desi with whom he got into a relationship that thought could fill the emptiness he felt inside him without the Phoenix. He soon realized that she couldn’t do that and they had to part ways for both of their sakes.

So he recruited Riley, then Bozer and it was time for Desi since Russ had told him that Matty was done with this kind of work. He really didn’t want to be the one to approach Desi for this but he knew they needed her and he had to be the one to ask because of their history. He really cared about Desi but after all the fighting and their messy break up he wasn’t sure if they could work together again pretending to be ok. But the team needed her and he wasn’t gonna put his needs first. Not when lives were at stake. 

Their first missions were bad, like really bad. They would constantly bicker which really wasn’t helping bring back the team spirit they used to have. 

The first time he actually had fun since the team got back together was when Riley called him and asked to meet him for pizza and skee-ball. Mac really liked that place. It reminded him of Jack and the good old days. So when Riley suggested they meet there he was more than happy to accept. They had fun playing skee-ball and after that they talked about how hard relationships are and that the Phoenix wasn’t the best place to be working in if you wanted to be in one. But Mac hadn’t lost all hope. He wasn’t sure if working at the Phoenix was the problem. He tried having a relationship outside the Phoenix and it failed. 

“It just takes the right someone,” he thought. It wasn’t the first time he had said that. Years ago when they were on a mission on a train in Germany and he had met that woman they were supposed to protect, he had said the exact same thing. He believed it to be true. The right someone. But would he ever find this right someone or he would end up living his life all alone?

Things still weren’t great between him and Desi but they finally decided they should put aside their differences and try to coexist, maybe try to fix their relationship from the beginning starting out as friends. They sure needed to do something otherwise someone could actually end up getting hurt on these dangerous ops they went. 

A few days after he and Desi decided to stay friends they got called about a mysterious explosion in Germany. Turns out a bomb from World War II that was buried underground had exploded because construction that was happening on the building that was on top of it finally disturbed it and it went off. So Matty had Desi look for survivors since she had experience in search and rescue and Mac and Riley were in charge of disarming the other bomb they found which was exactly the same as the one that went off.

Mac found a chance to talk to Riley about these phone calls he had caught her making. He could tell that she was talking with someone special. She would always smile differently when there was someone special in her life. Mac was determined to get to the bottom of her secret so he asked her directly. When Riley told him she was living with someone for six months he felt like the ground under his feet was shaking which was kind of ironic if you think they were in a building that was about to collapse. He didn’t know what hurt him the most. The fact that Riley was living with someone and she hadn’t told him about it or simply the fact that she was in a relationship with someone else? 

When Mac asked her why she lied and she brought up the why he and Desi broke up he realized it wasn’t Riley’s fault she didn’t share this with him. He was the one that was keeping his distance. What happened with Desi had really affected every relationship he had in his life. Being with her had kept him away from his friends and he hated he had let that happen. And after Riley said they don’t owe each other explanations about their private lives just because they work together he was truly devastated. He had let himself be consumed by his relationship with Desi and had forgotten all about the other people in his life who he loved and cared deeply for. 

“I let this happen,” he thought.

Later, when Riley apologized for what she had said Mac felt awful because he believed it was his fault that things had come to this. He asked for the name of Riley’s boyfriend and if he was honest he didn’t know why he reacted like that when Riley said it was Aubrey.

“Aubrey is sure not worse than Angus,” he thought but still didn’t know what was the source of this distaste he felt towards a guy he had never even met. He always had a hard time liking Riley’s boyfriends. He would let himself believe that it was something Jack had passed on to him but he wasn’t overprotective the way Jack was. Jack was like a father to Riley. His reaction to her boyfriends was justified but when it came to Mac he was completely oblivious on why he would feel like he had to protect her from any man that would come into her life.

It was that same day a few moments later when Mac admitted to Riley the main reason he and Desi had broken up.

“I realized we weren’t right for each other,” he had said. He knew it to be true. They just weren’t working. The only thing that kept them together was the physical connection they had. They could never connect emotionally and when the adrenaline rushes they got while they were on missions stopped, they started seeing that being together couldn’t make them happy. 

After Mac got that out of his system and Riley asked if he thought that working at the Phoenix screwed them up so bad they could never have normal, healthy relationships the building started shaking. Riley lost her balance and fell. In those seconds that for Mac seemed like hours a million thoughts crossed his mind. He thought he would lose her. He thought he could never afford to. He thought that losing Riley wasn’t an option. Therefore, he defied whatever fear he might had, fear of losing her, fear of dying, fear of heights and he jumped over the handrail in order to reach Riley and he grabbed her. If he hadn’t do that Riley would now be crushed by a bomb that weighted half a ton. And Mac could never allow that. He only was able to breath again when he was sure Riley was safe. When he had her safe and sound in his arms. 

He replayed that moment over and over again in his head thinking all the ways it could have ended with either both of them or only Riley dead. That was something he used to do on every mission. He would imagine how everything could go wrong and how every time he would die alone. He admitted that to Riley later that day when they had made it to the sixth floor. He also admitted to her that he regrets that at the end of the day he is alone. Riley was the only person he could feel safe to open up about how he feels. Mac could see that she was the person he could talk to about anything. He knew she understood him and that she would never judge him.

When Riley saved the day using what Mac had taught the boy scouts earlier that day he was so impressed by her and at the same time so proud of her. She actually paid attention whenever he would talk all sciency and he felt that she truly was interested in learning how every weird thing he would make works. He couldn’t say the same thing about Desi. She looked more bored than excited when Mac was explaining something to her.

After that hug they shared and those looks they exchanged when they managed to get the bomb to the ground, Mac felt like something had changed between them. He couldn’t explain it but he didn’t let himself overthink it either because whatever that moment meant, Riley was in a relationship with another man and Mac wasn’t gonna cause trouble when he had yet to realize whether or not he had feelings for her. Riley told him he was never alone and he replied to her that she wasn’t either. It felt so good to hear that. Mac was always feeling alone but with Riley’s statement he had hope that this wasn’t actually true.

A few weeks passed and they found themselves in Italy pretending to be newly-weds. If Mac was telling the truth, he enjoyed that a bit too much. Pretending he was fake married to Riley was way easier than going on a real date with Desi ever had been. They knew each other very well. They were always on the same page and they would never argue, even if they did they would apologize to each other only moments after.

“Why is it so easy with Riley?” he would think. He honestly couldn’t see what was right in front of him. 

He felt bad when Desi gave him that look while he was holding Riley’s hand in the casino.  
He shouldn’t feel that way and Desi shouldn’t have given him that look. After all, Mac and Riley are just friends. Did Desi knew something Mac didn’t? Whatever it was that she knew, it definitely wasn’t something she would share with him. They never actually talked. Not about the important things.

And then the day of the game came and Mac found out that the Merchant had injected Desi with a chip that could stop her heart. He wouldn’t let her die. No matter what had happened between them, he would always care about her. So he figured out a plan to save her and when he reached her at the soccer pitch he kissed her. He wasn’t sure why. At first he did it as part of his cover. How else could he justify to all those people the reason he flew over the pitch to get close to one of the players? But as they continued to kiss and with the adrenaline he was now feeling running through his system, he thought maybe they could try again. He was afraid of being alone and even though Riley had reassured him he wasn’t, he was afraid of what he felt when Riley told him that. Maybe he had started feeling things that he thought it was better to suppress since Riley was his best friend and was also in a relationship with someone else.

Things weren’t clear as to where Mac and Desi’s relationship stood since that kiss. They claimed they were back together yet they hadn’t gone out on a single date since before they broke up. They would both repeat that they were a normal couple but it was more so that they could convince themselves rather than for others to hear.

The invitation to a double date with Riley and Aubrey came and if Mac was being honest with himself he wasn’t as excited as he should have been. He didn’t feel that passing the night with Desi eating at an expensive restaurant would be fun. And he was right ‘cause until weird things started happening he was bored to death. He was trying to find any kind of excuse that could turn this date into an exciting mission. But then things that sure weren’t normal started happening and when he shared them with Desi she wouldn’t believe him. She honestly thought that Mac was only coming up with these crazy things because he wasn’t having fun. Mac felt bad that Desi doudted him even for simple things like that. And then she came to him telling him she heard silent gunshots through the vent in the bathroom and he had every right to believe that she was messing with him. It turns out they were both right. Chad, Aubrey’s partner, owed the Chinese Mafia money and they killed him for it. And on top of that they had kidnapped Riley and Aubrey thinking they could get them that money. 

While they were in custody in the restaurant’s freezer because some police officers found them over Chad’s body and after they knocked them out, Mac and Desi started feeling the excitement they feel when they are on missions so they started kissing again but where interrupted by Riley’s text. 

They went to her house and managed to take down the kidnappers but then the wife of the guy that was asking for his money came and now they all had a gun pointed to their faces. Husband and wife both had their issues and since Mac knew how hard relationships were, he decided to distract them by speaking to them. 

"Relationships are hard. Sometimes we lie to ourselves saying that everything is ok. Sometimes the trust we once had is gone forever. And sometimes no matter how much you think you wanna be with someone you can't seem to make it work" Those were Mac’s words and he knew he didn’t say them just to win them more time. That’s how he really felt about his relationship with Desi.

Their relationship was hard. He was lying to himself if he thought everything would be ok with her when they were fighting all the time and they couldn’t enjoy themselves on a simple date. He had lost his trust both in Desi and in their relationship. How could he not when she would doubt him every time he would tell her something, when she would judge him every time he would share things about himself with her. And maybe he thought he wanted to be with her but the actual reason for staying with her was that he didn’t want to be alone and being in a relationship with someone maybe could stop him from feeling like that. 

They were ready to end things when he dropped Desi off at her house. But Mac saw Desi was hurt and he couldn’t help but wonder that maybe they could make things work. Desi was alone too. Maybe they could hold on to that. Maybe they were only meant to be together to fill each other’s emptiness. Yes, the only thing that made them work was the adrenaline they had when things where bad so Mac thought that maybe this is how they are supposed to be. Therefore, they didn’t broke up and Mac was now alone at his house thinking if he had made the right decision. 

And while he was doing that the doorbell rang. The first thing that came into his mind was that it could be Murdoc. It wouldn’t be the first time he would show up to his house to kill him or kidnap him. But after a few seconds he remembered that that wasn’t possible since Murdoc was behind bars in a well-guarded Phoenix black site. Although, if he was being honest he could never be sure with that guy.

He went to the door and opened it carefully only to find Riley waiting on the other side. When he saw her he was a bit surprised but he quickly guessed why she was there. She came inside and told him Aubrey ended things. He wasn’t expecting that to happen. Not after they saved his life. If Riley wasn’t with Aubrey when the Chinese Mafia kidnapped them he would have ended up dead in a ditch. Riley saved his life so Mac thought now he would want her even more close to him. Maybe she was lying to Aubrey about what she was doing for a living but it wasn’t exactly like she had permission to talk about it. At least Mac wouldn't have broken up with her if he was in Aubrey’s shoes. That’s what he thought and he maybe let himself admit for the first time that he would like to be in his shoes.

Then Riley asked him if he was hungry and he couldn't believe that even though she had just broken up with a guy she had been living with for months, she still took the time to think about him and his empty stomach.

“She knows me so well,” he thought.

He pulled her into a hug and held her tight. This hug felt different to him. They were all alone in his house and not in front of other people. The last time Riley had broken up with someone, that someone being Billy and they had hugged it didn’t feel like this. Mac remembered that Riley was then crying and seemed really hurt but now she wasn’t like that. 

“Maybe she was expecting this to happen sooner or later,” he thought trying to find an explanation. She had after all admitted to him in Germany that she knew that now the team was back together her relationship with Aubrey would eventually end. Plus, when she had broken up with Billy she had found out that he was cheating on her. This time this isn’t the case. But still this felt different. 

When they finally broke the hug Mac made his way to the kitchen inviting her to join him so they could fill their hungry stomachs. He knew Riley was hungry too. She didn’t like fancy restaurants and food like that. He was surprised they had invited them to that restaurant in the first place. When they found out Aubrey was co-owning it, everything became a lot clearer. It wasn’t Riley’s choice. It couldn't be. She would have picked pizza and skee-ball over that any day. 

“How are you feeling?” he asked her.

“I’m okay, I guess. I mean I was kind of expecting this to happen eventually,” she said.  
Mac was right to think that Riley had accepted they would break up sooner or later.

“What are you thinking of doing from now on?” he asked wanting to know how long she was planning to stay. He hoped that she would stay for a long time but he knew Riley well enough to know she wouldn't want to overstay her welcome.

“Well, if it’s okay with you I’m thinking maybe I could stay here for a few weeks. At least until I find a new apartment,” she replied.

“Of course, I already told you you can stay here as long as you want. There’s no need to hurry into finding a new place,” Mac said and he really meant that. He was happy Riley chose to come to him. He knew his days at the house would only get better with her there. 

"So, what about you and Desi? You had fun on your first double date?" Riley asked him.

"Honestly, no offense but we were both kind of bored while we were at the restaurant." Mac said admitting to Riley something he couldn't even admit to himself out of fear that he would realize he had made the wrong decision when he didn’t break up with Desi a few hours earlier.

"So you didn't have fun," Riley said. 

"Well not until weird things started happening and you and Aubrey got kidnapped. After that it felt like we were on a mission and as I've told you before that's kind of what keeps Desi and me together. The adrenaline." he explained and he was still wondering how the way he really felt would come out in words only when he was talking to Riley. 

"I'm glad my kidnapping experience help you two grow closer." Riley said and Mac knew that growing closer to Desi was maybe the one thing that didn’t happen that night.

"So, everything is ok between you two?" Riley asked. 

Mac didn’t now how to answer that. Were they ok? Were they really? He honestly had no idea.

"Yeah, well no. Things weren't ok and then they were." 

"Mac, I think I understand you better when you talk all sciency" Riley replied.

"Well, we almost broke up but then decided that this is how we are supposed to be. Driven by the adrenaline. That maybe that's our thing so we said we would give it another shot," he said feeling bad that he had found himself in a relationship like that.

After they ate Riley went to settle in Bozer's old room while Mac was cleaning up the kitchen.

A few minutes later he came to check on her and see if she needed anything but she said everything was perfect and she told him "Good night."

Mac left the room and right before closing the door he said: "I'm really happy you moved in with me Riles," and he left without waiting for her to reply almost like he was embarrassed for saying something like that.

Mac went to his room and laid down on his bed. Only then he realized what he had just said to Riley. He was happy she moved in with him. Would he be as happy if Desi was the one that had moved in? He wasn’t sure. Maybe he didn’t need Desi to not feel lonely. Maybe all he needed was Riley. And he couldn't help but wonder if he would still be with Desi if he had found out sooner that Riley and Aubrey had broken up. 

Maybe Mac was a genius but when it came to his love life he was pretty damn stupid. He would never admit to himself that what he really wants has been right in front of him this whole time. Besides, now it was too late. He had decided to stay with Desi and try to make things work yet another time and he couldn't let himself wonder if that was the right thing to do, not when the right someone could be only a few steps away from his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Comments are always appreciated.


	4. Mac's POV on the events of season 4 (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter. It's set at the end of 4x13. Lots of parts are the same as the second chapter but this one has Mac's POV.  
> I hope you like it.

And now it had all ended. Codex's plan to cause a volcanic eruption had failed. After everything that had happened in the dam and since the Phoenix knew about their secret bunker, Codex was in hiding. They had disappeared from the face of the earth. Kind of ironic if you think they were the ones that were trying to make a lot of people "disappear" from this planet. Until they would pop up on the team's radar again the Phoenix would move forward with other as important missions. But before that, there was one thing that had to be done. One thing that was needed to be done years ago. Mac wanted to finish what his mother had started and no I don't mean wipe out a quarter of the earth's population but what she really wanted. Get every intel she had on the planet's situation to DC and hopefully shake people into action. That's what Mac was going to do and for the first time in a long while he felt ready to embrace his past by honoring his mother's legacy.

As they were waiting to call them in the courtroom Mac once again started remembering everything that had happened ever since Riley showed up on his doorstep.

The first weeks after her moving things were normal, well, Mac's kind of normal. Mission's with the Phoenix, a few gatherings with the team by the fire pit and nearly dying almost every day. During these weeks, Mac and Riley had talked a few times when everyone else would leave but it was never about anything personal. Just exchanging their point of view on the mission that had ended or talking about the secret organization that the only thing they then knew about was their name. Mac didn't know why they weren't talking as they used to. They used to talk about everything but here they were now living under the same roof and the only words they would exchange were about work. He felt like Riley was avoiding him for some reason. She was never at the house. She would prefer to work at the Phoenix until late rather than return home early and have a beer with him by the fire pit. He felt like they were drifting apart again but he did absolutely nothing about it. He was with Desi and they were trying to work things out so they were spending more time together. She would even pass the night at his house a few times.

The day they got new Intel about Mason was the day that everything would start to crumble. Oversight came by the Phoenix that day and Mac didn't know how to act around him. He was still angry and disappointed with everything that had happened between them. He really wanted someone to talk to about his dad and he knew the only one who could get how he felt was Riley but she didn't seem willing to talk to him so he never found a chance to initiate a conversation. And then of course there was Desi but Mac didn't feel comfortable talking to Desi about these things and he knew she should be the one to go too when he needed to talk but honestly he never felt like she would understand him.

Mac left with his dad to find Mason and being in the same car with him kind of obligated them to start talking. It wasn't like he could jump out of the car in order to escape. So he decided to speak with him. When Oversight told him that the cancer was back and he had two months left to live Mac lost it. He thought that the cancer was gone, that if someday he were to decide to fix things between them he would have more time. His father wasn't helping either. Mac had called him to wish him happy birthday following Desi's advice to reach out but he never answered.

They couldn't finish their conversation because they lost comms and got trapped inside that car. Mason was well prepared and had put traps everywhere. While they were trying to disarm the bomb that was on the car's hood, Mac's dad suggested they could try again. Make that day, day one. Mac had just learned that he was dying and he knew that were he to accept his father back again this would be day one out of approximately sixty days he had left. He wanted to be there for him. No matter what he had done he was still his father.

They got out of the car and found Mason or more like Mason found them. Just when they realized that Mason wasn't the one that had planted the bomb that led them to him, Codex's operatives showed up and started shooting at them. They managed to escape and get in touch with the Phoenix. Mac felt so good hearing Riley's voice again. She would always be there giving him directions to where to go next when she would stay behind on a mission. Unfortunately, that didn't last very long since Codex that Mac had earlier suspected was the one that lured them there, came from every direction and kidnapped them.

They were now in one of Codex's compounds and Mac's presumed dead aunt showed up telling him all about File 47 and her plan to "save" the world.

"I have an aunt?" Mac couldn't stop thinking about it. When she heard her theory that was based on actual scientific facts he was lost. But he knew killing millions of people would never be the solution he would agree with. Not even if this was his mother's idea in the first place.

He had been separated from Mason and his dad and when Gwen left because the alarm went off he took down the guard and started looking for them.

"Angus, either you are with us or you are against us. It's your choice. And I think we both now it's time for you to come home," those were Gwen's last words. But where was this home? Could his home really be with a woman that he indeed shared the same blood with but had never met before or was his home with the Phoenix family, with people he knew well and loved? Mac was struggling with all the information that he had just learned but at that moment what he needed to do was find his father.

He met Mason while he was looking for his dad and he brought Mac to him. He had been hit and with him the detonator from the bomb he and Mason were making had been destroyed. So now the only way to detonate the bomb was by doing it manually. When Mac realized what his father was planning to do he started rambling. He didn't want this. He couldn't leave him there to die, to sacrifice himself to save him. But there was no other option. So Mac left and Oversight detonated the bomb. Mac made it out and he found Desi and Russ that had come to take him home.

He had just reunited with his father and day one became day zero once again. But he couldn't let himself get lost in his thoughts because that would break him. What he needed now was to fulfill his father's dying wish.

"I can't stop them, you can," he had said to him. And that was what he was planning to do. He would find his aunt and put a stop to Codex's plans once and for all.

Ever since Oversight died Desi would spend almost every night at Mac's house trying to get closer to him and make him open up to her. Mac however wouldn't respond in any of her attempts to make him talk.

It had hardly been a week when the ransomware attack to the city's power grid happened. And while Riley's past was catching up to her Mac had to kill a man to save 4 million people. Mac wasn't acting clearly on that mission. He would see conspiracies everywhere and he had conviced himself that Codex was behind the ransomware attack.

When Riley managed to stop the nuclear meltdown he was so proud of her and he felt relieved but that only lasted a few seconds because he realized what had to be done to save those 4 million people. He pushed that scram button knowing he had condemned a man to die a horrible death and even though he knew his actions would save the lives of millions he blamed himself that Lasky had to die. If he had insisted maybe he would be the one that would go inside the reactor room to open the valves. He wanted to be the one in Lasky's place. If he was the one that had sacrificed himself, Lasky wouldn't have to die and leave his family alone.

"We can't save everyone," those were the words he said before pushing the button and at that moment he couldn't help but think that the situation he had found himself into wasn't that much different from what Codex was saying. He didn't like it but it was the truth.

That night he was alone at the house. Riley had gone to visit her friend that was now behind bars and Mac was at his house sitting on the floor thinking everything that had happened at the power planet. Then Russ came and they talked.

"I'm all alone," he said and Russ told him he wasn't. Riley had told him the same thing in Germany but she wasn't there to talk to him when his father died nor now that he killed a man. He thought maybe he did something to push her away but he had no clue as to what that might had been.

Russ offered to watch oversight's video with him. It turns out they were just some numbers. A secret code. Not an "I love you, son" nor a simple "Take care" nor anything. Mac was disappointed again. He wasn't sure what he was expecting. He doesn't remember his father saying I love you to him not even once. He couldn't even let the words out of his mouth when he was about to die. But he had hoped for some closure. He didn't get it. Instead he got a bunch of numbers like they were a part of a mission impossible movie.

Every night after that, Desi would sleep over and Riley would fall asleep on the couch playing video games. Mac wasn't really sleeping. He would either stay up all night or wake up very early to work on a plan to save the world. Codex had really messed with his mind. His aunt had really messed with his mind. So his coping mechanism was to build any type of machine that would solve the greenhouse effect. He didn't want to believe that he couldn't save everyone. That morning he was trying to build a carbon scrubber. And since Riley was yet again sleeping on the couch she was more exposed to the noise Mac was making than she would have been if she was sleeping in her room. Therefore, the loud bangs woke her up and she went outside to the terrace only to find Mac hitting his scrubber with a hammer.

"Good morning sleepyhead!" Mac said to Riley. She complained about the hour and asked him if he wanted to talk about it. Mac pretended that he didn't understood what was this it she was referring to but he was happy to see that she was finally willing to start a conversation. However, that wasn't the right time because Desi was also in the house.

Moments later Desi showed up wearing Mac's clothes. Soon both Riley and Desi saw the apocalypse backpacks Mac had made them. Riley understood soon enough that they were about Codex and Mac after a small conversation they had he left for work after he got Matty's text, looking like he was trying to escape from wherever this conversation was going.

Mac arrived at the Phoenix and found out that Russ had broken Oversight's code. It had led to Tesla's house. He hated that everyone was looking at him like he would break at any moment.

They went to the house and when Mac realized it was Tesla's all his other problems seemed to disappear. He was fascinated by all the stuff he found there.

"Tesla? The electricity guy?" Riley asked being a little too excited.

"Among many other things" Mac said and he could see Riley was as excited as he was to be there.

When Desi said that Tesla was a contemporary of Thomas Edison and Alexander Graham Bell, Mac for a moment thought that it was so hot that Desi knew that. But then she admitted that she read it in an article she found there and Mac thought that he should have expected that. Desi had never shown interest in the things he liked and knowing something like that would be extremely rare.

Unfortunately, they didn't have much time to look around cause Codex showed up and everything happened fast. So they returned to the Phoenix with an unconscious Mac and no map which they needed to find Tesla's weapon since Codex's operatives managed to overpower them and steal it.

When Mac woke up without his short-term memory they knew they couldn't do much so Russ, Desi and Riley went to search Tesla's archives at the library of the university he used to give lectures to and Mac stayed back since Matty had other plans for him. They gave him a drug that was made by DARPA scientists in an attempt to get his memories back.

So Mac was now inside his mind trying to find the right memory. Mac's mind was a mess. He met this woman that seemed to be the only one who knew how to keep him grounded but other than her everything was confusing. He reunited with his high school bully, he saw Lasky the man he had killed at the power plant and he realized that the woman who was helping him was in fact his mother. He was completely lost in there and as he admitted to her, things weren't so different in the real world either. He didn't want to believe that File 47 was his mother's idea but he knew no matter what, he had to stop it. After talking with his mother he had to face his biggest demon. Himself. There was a part of him that thought that maybe Codex was right and in order for the future generations to live some people would have to be sacrificed. But he didn't let his dark side win because at the end of the day those were human lives that were at stake and Mac would never allow Codex to take them.

He found Tesla and he told him that sometimes you think you're going in one direction but really you're going in another. Mac understood that the clue he was looking for was the compass that was upside down but he wasn't sure if what Tesla said was only because of the memory he was trying to find. Maybe his subconscious was trying to tell him something about his life. Maybe he was looking at everything the wrong way. His job, his love life, Codex. He wasn't sure what that meant but he didn't have time then to think it further. He had to tell Russ, Desi and Riley about what he remembered.

The others had managed to find Shiva's possible location and Mac woke up just in time to reveal to them the missing piece of the puzzle. So they found Shiva and when Codex came Mac instructed Desi how to fix the wire in order to use the weapon against them. And it worked. They got out with Shiva and returned to the Phoenix.

"I'd hate to get lost inside the mind of Angus MacGyver." Riley had said. Mac didn't want to get lost in his mind either, at least not again. That one time was almost enough to drive him crazy.

Mac and Desi were alone at the house and Desi was making soup. Mac wasn't sure where Riley had disappeared again. Desi tried to make Mac talk to her about what had happened inside his mind but Mac wouldn't open up. And then Desi gave him a compass she had bought him. She said she heard him talking in his sleep about being lost. He thought that it was sweet of her but he couldn't stop thinking about what Tesla had said. Maybe the person giving him the compass wasn't the one he should choose to be with. Maybe he was going in the wrong direction. Maybe Desi giving him the compass was a sign that he had made the wrong decision getting back together with her. And while he was lost in these thoughts he felt this darkness that was still inside him. His dark self who he had met while he was in that dream state. He could never let him see the light of day. He couldn't allow himself think the things he was thinking because that would mean hurting a lot of people and Mac wouldn't have that.

A few weeks passed and when they located the Merchant they thought maybe finally their luck had changed. They went to the Phoenix and Russ' idea ended up with Mac locked up in a cell with the Merchant. Things were going well and Mac thought he had fooled the Merchant, made him think he was really willing to join Codex and sacrifice the people he loved but while they were getting ready to "escape" Russ came and explained to him that the Merchant had played them. Codex was now on to them and would pay them a visit soon enough.

Mac was so angry. He attacked the Merchant when he started talking to Desi. Desi almost died by the Merchant's hands and Mac hadn't forgotten that. What he didn't expect was Desi's reaction to his burst of anger. He told her he was okay and she said she wasn't. She brought up what Mac had said to the Merchant.

"Sacrifice the things we love," Desi had taken those words seriously and her pushing him into talking about what Mac meant when he said those words wasn't something he felt like doing. He told her that it was part of the role he was playing but Desi kept pushing. She said she didn't know which version of him was real anymore so Mac replied that the one that loves her is real. He didn't know why he said that. He didn't have the mental stability that this conversation required. He cared about Desi but was he in love with her?

Whatever reason he said it for, it made Desi stop arguing with him. She grabbed him and kissed him and when that kiss ended Mac told her to meet him in the tech room after everything would end. Desi didn't seem very happy by Mac's suggestion. He had just told her he loved her and now he was proposing to meet up later to hook up. She saw the Merchant looking at them which only made that whole situation worse. Then Mac run off looking like he had just come up with a plan.

And he had. His plan was once again brilliant and not only they managed to catch the Merchant and Scarlett, one of Codex's highly operatives but they also got a lead on Codex's headquarters. It would take some time but Riley would be able to find where they were hiding.

Mac had gone to see the Merchant that night. He shouldn't have but he went anyway. The only thing their meeting brought was more unanswered questions and weird thoughts.

What did the Merchant mean when he said that Mac could be the one that doesn't take sides, the one that makes the hard choices? What could he possibly do on his one?

The morning came when Mac arrived at the Phoenix telling them his aunt had grabbed him from his morning run in order to buy him breakfast, tell him they were only mere days away from a long winter's night and that the CIA and not cancer was the one that took away his mother. He had left the house that morning leaving the compass Desi gave him on the nightstand at her side of the bed. He had returned the compass as a way of telling her he wasn't lost anymore. He knew what he had to do and she wasn't the one that had helped him figure it out.

When he told them that he was having breakfast with his aunt they all looked hesitant. Mac couldn't understand if it was doubt or worry what he saw in their eyes. He soon found out that it was certainly doubt in Desi's and Russ' eyes. Desi was the first one to call him compromised. She said he was so drunk on some screwed-up cocktail of his mom, his aunt and science and Mac couldn't believe she actually thought he was siding with Codex. Because that meant she believed he was willing to kill millions of people and he honestly thought that Desi knew him better than that. Mac told her he didn't know what answer was gonna get her off his back and that was when he realized that that was the reason he had told her he loved her when they were fighting a few days ago. Telling her that had made Desi stop arguing with him but this time this wasn't gonna work. He had manipulated her and now that he realized it he felt awful. But Desi was now questioning his loyalty and he let his anger overshadow anything else he would might be feeling.

Mac seemed ready to explode and when Russ brought in the ripper drone pilots he wouldn't have it anymore. They were supposed to be the ones who saved people no matter what. So he confronted Russ. Taylor looked like he was waiting for Mac to do that because only then he started unraveling his theory about Mac being compromised. Now Russ was the second person that doubted him but at least he knew that Russ was obsessed with Codex for some reason and on top of that he didn't know him enough time to trust him completely. But Desi saying "I knew it," when Russ revealed his theory to them was like someone had stabbed him in the heart.

Mac had to leave when Matty agreed that he shouldn't be a part of this mission. He felt like everyone had abandoned him. He went to his parents' graves to try to think. And he had an idea that he knew could cost him his life. He knew he could lose every single person he cared about and loved if he tried to do what was on his mind. But he had no other option. He wouldn't let that missile drop on Codex's head. Not when this meant so many people would die.

Therefore, he started executing his plan. He got Scarlett out and left Desi and Russ without oxygen while doing that. He knew they wouldn't die but it still hurt that he had to do that to them. Things wouldn't have reached this point if they had just trusted him. These thoughts were what was keeping him going.

He went for Shiva next and when he thought everything had ended and his efforts had gone to waste Riley showed up. Mac couldn't believe she was there. He thought his eyes were playing games with him. But she really was there. She had come for him. She hadn't left him alone like the others and when she later said she trusted him he finally felt that he was doing the right thing. Riley came for him knowing that she would have to sacrifice her career and ultimately her life.

"Why wasn't Desi the one to do that?" he thought. Desi was his girlfriend. Desi was supposed to be his person, the one that needed to have his back both in his personal and professional life. Mac couldn't stop himself from comparing Desi with Riley. He couldn't understand what he had done to make Desi doubt him in the first place.

So while the Phoenix thought they turned Mac and Riley were headed to Codex's headquarters and when they arrived they knew from the start that they weren't welcome. After fighting with Codex operatives a message came to Mac's phone: "Missile inbound." It was from Bozer. Mac was happy to learn that Bozer hadn't abandoned him either.

He used Morse Code to warn his aunt about the missile and with Tesla's weapon they managed to trick the missile's navigating system but a ripper drone carried two of them. So this wasn't over. Mac tried to charge Shiva again but there wasn't enough time. And in those moments that he thought they were going to die Mac reached for Riley's hand. He now knew that as long as Riley was around he would never be alone. Just like she had said to him in Germany. It was a promise she had made to him and she was now keeping it. If they were to somehow survive that missile Mac would no longer regret being alone. He knew that Riley would always be there for him.

Right before the drone reached above their heads it continued straight ahead and then crashed a few miles away into the forest. Mac's face made a huge smile and was filled with relief. They had once again escaped death together.

When they relaxed from the "we almost died" shock Mac and Riley followed Gwen to the house. And while Mac was trying to convince her they had decided to join Codex she was in the mood to tease them because even though she knew exactly who Riley was she still called her Mac's girlfriend. Mac didn't respond. He wasn't sure why. The logical thing to do was tell the truth and deny it. But maybe he didn't like the truth.

Riley's answer brought him back to reality. She wasn't his girlfriend. In fact he already had one since they hadn't officially broken up with Desi.

And then Mac pulled his shoulders back and said: "We're a package deal," and he believed it with every bit of his heart. They were great together. Both when they were on missions and when they would just hang out. Some could say they were an unstoppable team. Mac knew it. No one could deny that.

Gwen asked them to follow her and they got into a secret elevator and got out to a secret underground city. Mac had never seen anything like it. And from now own as he said, the only thing that would save them from whatever they had gotten themselves into, was improvisation.

Everyone there seemed like they were brainwashed. When they had to separate them Mac got scared. He repeated again they were a package deal but Gwen wasn't the one calling the shots and she really couldn't do anything about it.

Mac went to meet Leland, the actual leader of Codex. He had to admit that he was intimidating. When he told him they had approached Russ with an offer to join them he tried so hard to remain calm.

Mac and Riley met up again in the vehicle bay. He was so relieved when he saw that she was ok. His aunt was there and it seemed like they were getting ready for something. Weird things were happening. They had given them a tablet and they were supposed to meet up at a location that would only be revealed to them while on the road. So while they were driving to where the location on the tablet was, after talking a bit about what they saw in the bunker they found out that Codex had a nuke. Mac told Riley about Leland but he skipped the part about Russ. He didn't want to worry her for no reason. Not when she was already worrying about everything else.

While everything was going according to plan, a plan that they hadn't thought of yet, a loud noise made them jump from their seats and they stopped moving. They had a flat tire. They got out of the car only to find Desi and Russ pointing their guns at them.

Mac couldn't believe it. They had their guns right to their faces.

"They didn't manage to take us out with the missile so they came to finish the job themselves," he thought. "How could Desi do this? Do I really mean that little to her?" Mac was devastated. He couldn't understand where this distrust was coming from. Even if she didn't trust him on a personal level she should trust him on a professional one. Desi was hired to protect them. That was her job. Russ was another story. He didn't know Mac that well and he was consumed by his hatred for Codex.

Mac was willing to do anything to go to the location on the tablet and if Matty hadn't intervened who knows how things would have escalated. With Taylor's secret coming out everyone finally seemed to be getting it together. Russ knew about Codex all along. Maybe he didn't know their name and who they were but he sure had history with them and chose to hide it from the team. So Russ tried to explain his obsession with Codex but since there was no time to waste they had to fix the tire and go to the rendezvous point.

While Mac was fixing the tire Desi decided it was a good place and time to pick a fight with him. Mac knew he had hurt her. He wouldn't open up to her and refuse to get emotionally attached to her but Desi saying he trusted him when less than 5 minutes ago she was holding a gun to his head was a little over the top. And as if that wasn't enough, she made a scene at the worst possible time. What bothered Mac the most was that she said she trusted him. Because Desi was the first to call him compromised. She was the first to doubt him. What Mac needed now was to focus on how to stop Codex from launching a nuke and not Desi telling him how much he hurt her. Trust meant everything to Mac and he was more hurt from Desi's actions than he would care to admit. Desi was supposed to be his person but instead of supporting him while everything around him was crumbling, she turned her back on him. So who can blame him when he chose to go rogue and not share his plan with her?

As soon as they fixed the tire they got back on the road. They arrived at the warehouse only to find the rest of Gwen's team waiting around for instructions. Something was wrong. Mac could feel it and so did Riley. Russ and Desi saw the cobra attack helicopter approaching and warned them about what was coming next. Mac yelled that this was a trap and the next thing he remembers is that there was fire everywhere. He made sure Riley stayed behind him at all times and he looked for a way out. He found a door and smashed it open using all his strength in order to get them to safety. He wasn't gonna let Riley die on his watch. Not if he could do something about it. Russ and Desi were waiting outside so they helped them get back on their feet and continue with their mission.

Mac never believed that his aunt had something to do with this. He didn't believe she would be so cruel and he was right cause when they found the nuke and Mac talked to her in the back of that truck she had confirmed it was all Leland's fault. He tried to convince her to stop this madness and his words sounded a bit too familiar to him.

"It doesn't take the whole world. Sometimes, you just need that one person that you can count on, who you trust and together any problem can be solved," those were his words. He knew a person like that. He realized by saying those words that Riley was that person for him. She would always have his back and they trusted each other with their lives.

Then Roman showed up and interrupted Gwen and Mac. They fought and Mac fell from the truck but fortunately held on to the side of the bridge they were crossing.

After watching the Yellowstone plates inside the truck and remembering the talk he had with Leland Mac had finally understood what Codex's plan was. He had also managed to jam his phone under the loading ramp of the truck and now they could track them. So they found the nuke and Mac had a plan to interrupt the chain reaction and turn the mushroom cloud into a good old-fashioned explosion. But while he was trying to do just that Roman attacked him and would have killed him if it wasn't for Gwen. She saved him. She decided to do the right thing at the end and that's all that mattered to Mac.

The detonator had been destroyed while he was fighting with Roman so now he had to detonate the bomb manually. Gwen offered to do it herself. Mac didn't want her to do it. He didn't want her to die the same way his father did. But he knew she wasn't gonna leave either and she was gonna do anything to make him go. Therefore, he let her sacrifice herself for him knowing she did it because she felt she owed him that much.

They went back to the Phoenix and Taylor gave them their now cut-into-strips badges back. Honestly, that was the last thing Mac cared about. What he really cared about was that they had managed to stop Codex's plan and saved millions of people. Yes, his aunt died to save him the exact way his father died to save him but he wasn't feeling like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders anymore. He was free. He had made peace with his inner demons and decided to let them go. And what better way to do that than by honoring his mother's legacy?

Therefore, now they were in DC waiting to do just that. Mac was super nervous but he was also tired because he had spent days trying to gather all the data he needed to make his case believable. There were some things from his mom's research but it had been 25 years since then and there were a lot more he had to use to show them what was really going on with this planet.

He saw Riley approaching him so he greeted her.

"Hey, Riles!"

"Hey, Mac. Here drink this," she said and handed him the coffee while taking the folders he was holding.

Mac took the coffee and if he could he would have drunk it all in a single sip. He thought that Riley knew him so well. He really needed that coffee.

"Thanks, I needed that," he told her.

"Yeah, I could tell. Don't worry you're gonna be great. If you think about it it's like teaching in a classroom. Only this time the kids are really important people who you need to convince that this planet is gonna die and take us all down with it unless we do something about it," Riley teased him.

"You sure know how to give a pep talk," Mac said and gave her a smirk. He loved the way she could relax him by saying the worst thing possible.

"Well, I learned from the best. You must admit that pep talks aren't your strong suit either. But seriously, I'm just messing with you. You'll be fine," Riley said.

Mac laughed and thanked her. He needed to do that a lot earlier. Without her, none of this would have been possible.

"I wouldn't be here to complete my mother's work if it wasn't for you," Mac told Riley wearing his serious face. "So thank you, thank you for trusting me and thank you for always having my back. But most importantly thank you for the coffee 'cause without it I would be yawning every other minute in there and that would make me look bad," Mac finished his words giving Riley a broad smile.

He wanted to wrap his arms around her so he leaned forward for a hug but Riley gave him the folders back, took the cup of coffee from his hand that was now empty and said:

"I'll see you inside."

"Oh...Okay," Mac replied looking a bit confused. He felt weird. He didn't understood why Riley avoided the hug but then he saw Desi coming up to him and thought that it was her she was trying to avoid. He couldn't blame her. After everything that happened Mac wasn't ready to talk to Desi either. But he had too. They needed to talk about where their relationship stood.

When Desi told him that he knows him better than he thinks he was so annoyed with her. How could she say that? Not more than a few days ago she was certain he had turned to the dark side. Mac wanted to laugh at her but instead he asked her what he was thinking at that moment. She replied and what she said was right. Yes, he wanted to fix that lamp but honestly you didn't have to know Mac more than a day to guess that and she did guess that he was thinking about Rick and Morty but everyone knew that that was his favorite cartoon. Plus if you new Mac just a little bit you knew that he would always think about Rick and Morty when he was nervous. It was something that helped him relax. What Desi didn't guess was his coffee. Riley had just brought him an americano and he was in fact happy to drink it because he needed it. He just didn't want to tell that to Desi so they could stop their conversation as soon as possible. He didn't think that that could happen but talking with her was making him even more nervous.

He felt like he owed her an apology for leaving her without oxygen. That was the only thing he regretted. If he could do it all over again that is the only thing he would try to avoid. So he tried to get some words out but Desi stopped him. She said they should talk about it another time. That they could go out for drinks and talk about it then. He really couldn't understand how she was acting like nothing important had happened. One thing he knew for sure was that she was right. They needed to talk about this and hopefully he would find the courage to tell her everything he wanted to tell her. And no matter where their conversation would lead he knew the only way they could keep working together was if they started things over.

He didn't know how things would continue from now on but he sure knew that they would need to find a way to coexist with Desi and Russ. If they wanted to work on new missions without any problems they would need to start trusting each other. And while he was thinking that, they called them inside for the hearing.

Mac was nervous but he was talking with confidence and people seemed to pay attention. He had come prepared.

He was finally feeling like he had found his way back to the ground after a long time of floating away. He knew things could only get better from now on. He knew he wasn't alone anymore. Riley was the person who showed him that. As long as he had her in his life he would be okay. At this point he didn't need anything else. It was enough for him to know that he had Riley.

Mac was explaining every single thing that is wrong with this planet and ways that would make it better for the future generations and at that moment he realized that while he was now trying to save the Earth, Riley was the one that had already saved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me.
> 
> Comments are always appreciated.


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